Lately, I’ve had some coincidental encounters that leave me wondering if the universe or God is trying to teach me something. I believe there are signs if you pay attention to them. I had my lightbulb moment after meeting a friend for lunch. They told me about how they were trying desperately to obtain a relationship and felt like they would never truly be happy if they didn’t succeed in doing so. They were completely focused on this one thing, that it distracted them from seeing all the blessings around them.
I explained to them how life never goes the way you plan. In fact, sometimes the more you resist something the more it persists. It’s a hard concept to grasp when our whole life we are taught to have goals. . . . Get good grades, get into college, land a career, buy a house, get married, have some children. It would seem more socially acceptable to complete them in chronological order, but it doesn’t always happen that way, and that’s ok! Goals are a great roadmap for life but having it unfold exactly the way you want is an illusion.
We learn this more as we get older. Like after a divorce, or the death of a significant other. Losing a job or a house. . . Most would think, “well that certaintly wasn’t part of my plan”. . . . but spiritually speaking, “was it?” I think we all have divine contracts or lessons to learn from the struggles we endure and we choose them to obtain greater enlightenment. I believe our soul chooses these spiritual paths from the start and fulfilling them is our commitment to Gods will.
The truth is, it was never our plan. It has always been Gods will, and all we can do is find peace in surrendering your plans. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to obtain whatever it is you think you need. . . a relationship, a better house or career. There’s a distance between what you believe you need and what divine order will hand you. Expectations always lead to disappointments and life won’t go the way you planned. Trust me, losing Audrina was not part of my plan, but I’m forced to believe my pain will serve a greater purpose.
Don’t beat yourself up either if you don’t accomplish everything in a socially acceptable order. I’m speaking to the teenage mom, the divorcé, or widowed parent, the mom anxiously waiting for proposal, or couple trying to conceive. Where there’s one teenage mom beating herself up over unplanned pregnancy there’s another mom planning for the perfect time just to struggle with infertility problems. Where there’s one woman anxiously waiting for an engagement, there’s another woman grieving divorce or the death of her husband.
I could spend the next 5 years living depressed that my daughter cannot be not here with me, but I would will miss out on every milestone Everett makes. I’m not having expectations on having any more children because I know it’s not up to me. That’s in Gods hands. I know too well that Everett could end up being my first baby and my last. That’s why I fight like hell to count my blessings and not take his childhood for granted. This is why I truly appreciate every kiss or cuddle, every hug and, “I wove you mommy”.
You can surrender to Gods will by finding peace in his plans. Let go of your need to control life. Security and stability is just an illusion. What you have today can disappear tomorrow. Appreciate the present moment. Find truth in living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. The ironic thing about surrendering is. . . . sometimes the very thing you were fighting for happens to fall right on your lap.